Sleep Deprived
by Vonna Plum
Summary: [Oneshot][Pure Crack][Rated T for swearing][OOCness] Every person and thing all the way from Lee to ramen is out to deprive Naruto from much needed sleep. [R&R Please][Flames and Constructive Crit. Welcome]


_Disclaimer: Naruto not mine, it's Kishimoto-san's. _

_Warnings: Swearing (not too much), Overly Crack-ish, OOC-ness. _

_I'm back with my crazy crack. This one's my first Naruto fanfic on and more crack-ish then 'Ever heard of Sweeteners' in my opinion. I wasn't even hyper when I wrote this. _

_Actually, I was planning this whole thing about Wrath being Sasuke, and Envy being Naruto, But god, the beginning had started off so cliché, I had to do something about it, so I added in the 'WAKE UP IDIOT' part, and it just got more crack-ish from there. I'm still planning to the other more serious idea though. _

_Today, I figured that I shouldn't really put 'Read&Review' or 'R&R' at the end of my stories, because by then, you should have already read it, so yeah… _

_Enough of my blabbering, this has been self beta-ed…twice. Hopefully no mistakes, Enjoy and have a nice day! _

_---_

Tick.

Tock.

Tick.

Tock.

Ti—

"BRRING!!! WAKE UP IDIOTTT!!!! BBRRRIIIINNNGGG!!!! BRIINNGGG!!! WAKE UP IDIOTTT!!!!"

'Damn, Sakura, why did you give me such a horrible alarm clock for my birthday…?' Naruto thought to himself.

"_WAKE UP IDIOT!!!"_

"Arghhh…10 more minutes…"

"_BRRRRIIIINNNNGGGGGG!!!! WAKE UP IDIOTT!!!!"_

"Shut up!"

"BRIIINNN—" 

Shooting his arm out straight for the irritating alarm and grabbing it, Naruto threw it as hard as he could at the wall, hoping this would finally silence the loud alarm.

SMASH! SHATTER! … Thunk. "OWW!!! What the hell?!"

The alarm fell to its doom, hitting Sakura right on the head, resounding a loud hollow noise (1). The Alarm clock's last words being 'Wake up idiot'. How lovely.

'Damn architects, putting a window right next to the bed…' Naruto thought to himself.

BANG! BANG! BANG! 

"NARUTO-KUUUUUUN!!! MY YOUTHFUL FRIEND!!! HAVE YOU WOKEN FROM YOUR YOUTHFUL SLEEP?!?" Hollered a voice from outside.

"Oh god no…anyone but him…" Naruto muttered to himself, pulling the thin sheet over his head in an attempt to become invisible. There was a silence just outside the door (Naruto imagined Lee had his ear pressed up on the door) before a loud crashing sound of splintering wood. Naruto shot upright in his bed, feeling dizzy from being upright after a whole night of lying down.

"WHAT THE FUCK?!?!?" Naruto screeched out at the green-cladded intruder.

"Naruto-kun! I thought kidnappers may have come to take you away, so I bashed down the door in order to save you!!! If I had let them take you away, I would have to punish myself by running 1000 laps of Konoha, and if I fail that, do 10,000 squats, or 10,000 kicks or—" Lee was cut off by Naruto.

"—What about my door?!" Naruto growled, 'Great, first the window, now the door…what next? The floor?!' He thought to himself.

"—So anyway, I was walking down the road when I heard your alarm go off! And when I looked around to your apartment, I saw Sakura-san looking up at your window with an angry look on her youthful face. Such an un-becoming look should not be on such a beautiful youthful lotus flower's youthful face, so I asked her—"

"…Cut to the crap."

"—So I asked her why she was so angry, and she told me to come up here and wake you up. So here I am, my youthful friend, waking you up!" Lee finished with a nice guy pose and a thumbs-up.

"You came up here just to wake me up?"

"Yes, my youthful friend!" Lee replied. Naruto smiled the nicest of smiles he could manage at this time, sarcasm dripping off his face. Lee didn't seem to notice Naruto's eye twitch slightly, let alone the sarcasm.

"Ok then, Lee, I will go get dressed, if you could leave please…?" Naruto requested politely.

"Yosh!" And with that Lee trooped out the door, probably back to Sakura. The moment Lee turned the corner, Naruto's smile dropped and he fell back into bed, pulling the blankets over himself again.

"Bastard…" Naruto muttered to himself before falling back to sleep again, a few snores escaping his mouth a few minutes later.

"…Dobe."

Naruto shot up out of bed again, glaring at the source of the name-calling. The voice wasn't very loud, but Naruto could pick up something as insulting as 'dobe' even in the dead of his sleep.

"Teme! What'd you call me?!" Naruto glared at Sasuke.

"I called you dobe." Sasuke repeated in a matter-of-fact tone. Naruto narrowed his eyes.

"What are you doing here anyway?!"

"Kakashi sent me." Sasuke muttered.

"Tell 'im I'm going back to sleep." Naruto said as he lay back down and turned away from Sasuke.

"…Hn." And with that Sasuke left, probably not planning to tell Kakashi anything. Actually, probably not planning to even go back to Kakashi.

Just when Naruto was about to fall asleep again…

"..So then I said to her, 'really?' and she did that cute little nod she always does, and I was all like, 'Yes!!!' and she started giggling that cute little giggle she giggles. So anyway, we're going out this Saturday to— man, are you even listening to me?!"

Naruto opened his eyes again and was greeted by Kiba, who's face was torn between being pissed about Naruto ignoring him, or being happy because this girl he was chattering on about was going to go on a date with him.

"What are you doing here?" Naruto sighed, a slight sense of déjà vu coming over him.

"Oh, no reason really. So anyway, We're gonna go to the waterfall on Saturday, then to this restaurant I heard was good, you know that one that people say has this really awesome sushi? Yeah, I'm taking her there because she told me she loved sushi and all— You're not listening to me again!!!" Kiba raised his fist preparing to punch the sleepy boy.

"I'm listening, I'm listening! Who's this girl you're talking about?" Naruto sweat-dropped and held his hands up in defence.

"…"

"…"

"…You're bluffing, aren't you?"

"…"

"…"

"…"

"…"

"You didn't have to put it so bluntly!!!" Kiba ran out Naruto's apartment, apparently hurt. Naruto sighed and tried to settle back down to bed.

…

-Snooorreee-

…

…

"NARUTO!!!!"

"ARGH! INO! WHAT THE HELL?!?" Naruto sat up again, he was certain he would have done a million sit ups by the end of today.

"You're Sasuke-kun's friend, aren't you?!"

"Yeah…I guess…"

"What am I meant to get for his birthday?!? Every time I get him flowers, he burns them with his Katon jutsu, and every time I give him chocolate, he throws it over his shoulder! Once, when I bought him an ice cream, he splat-ed it right back in my face! He was probably just angry that day though. Anyway, I was hoping you could help me…?"

"You know a good present he'd really want? You won't even have to pay!"

"What?!"

"Just leave him alone!!!"

"WHAT!!! I can't do that!!!"

"Argh, fine, give him kunai, or shuriken or something." Naruto groaned.

"Oh yeah…he'll probably like that. Thanks Naruto!!! How can I ever repay you?"

"You know how…?"

"hm..?"

"GO AWAY!!!!" Ino just grinned and saluted him before trotting out his door.

Naruto sank back into his bed. 'Ah…sleeeep…I'm going to kill the next person through that door I swear…but for now…sweet sleeepppp….'

"Uh, delivery for a guy, first name Naruto, last name, Uzuma…sa…?" A slightly timid voice called out from behind Naruto's smashed up door. Naruto sat up slowly, growling at the same time.

"It's Uzuma_**ki**_Naruto, you idiot!" (2)

"Oh, really?" The delivery boy blushed as he looked back down at the unruly handwriting on his clipboard, "Sorry…uhh, this package is for you…" Naruto glared at him, as if daring him to try and make Naruto have to go to the trouble of getting out of bed to get this package. The delivery boy sweat dropped.

He put the medium sized package bearing the catchphrase 'EAT RAMEN TILL YA SPEW' down on top of the smashed up door and walked shyly up to Naruto and held up his clipboard, "if you could, uh, sign there…" Naruto signed the dotted line sloppily with a 'Naruto Uzuma**ki**'.

"I'll…leave you're package there for you then, bye!" The boy left quickly. Naruto looked at the package and contemplated on getting up to eat a cup (or ten) of ramen, but in the end, he just dropped back into bed and turned away from the box of ramen…

Delicious…tasty…enticing…ramen…

Naruto lay there in bed for another ten minutes, but he couldn't get the ramen out of his mind. Was everyone out to deprive him of his sleep? He only got four to six hours of sleep because the apartment next door was playing heavy metal at an ear-bursting volume. Even his ramen wanted him to get out of bed! There was no way he was getting out of bed unless there was a totally good reason like training or someth—

Oh shit!

Naruto had training with Team 7! What time is it? Naruto turned back to his bedside table to look at the alarm clock.

Oh wait; his alarm clock was a pile of smashed up bits at the bottom of his window now. Damn it! And that was his only clock too!

'Argh, I better get up then…' Naruto decided groggily as he got out of bed slowly and changed into his usual attire, yawning the whole way. Not bothering to brush his teeth, he went straight for the package. He took out a tiny blade and sliced carefully at the tape before ripping open the box and pulling out a ramen cup.

After eating another seven cups, he shuffled out the door, jumping over the smashed door un-energetically, and headed for the usual training place (You know that place? No? Me neither).

He shuffled his way to the bridge with half-lidded eyes and a 'sleepy-and-pissed' aura coming of him, frightening the innocent bystanders on the streets somewhat. He didn't stop shuffling when Hinata stuttered good morning to him, because he didn't hear her inaudible voice, he didn't pause to wave at the 'old man' at Ichiraku ramen bar because his arms were too dead to lift, and he didn't reply when Chouji asked him why he was so down because he could be bothered using his voice box anymore after all that yelling. Nope, not one pause until he finally reached his destination.

"Oh, look who bothered to finally grace us with his presence." Kakashi teased, not really fussed about Naruto being late (being quite the late-comer himself).

"Naruto! Do you know how long I waited for you outside your apartment?!?" Sakura complained, although she had only been out there for 5 to 10 minutes at most, having left when Lee came back down.

"…Hn." Sasuke… 'hn-ed'.

"Anyway Naruto, today we're going to work on molding our chakra so that we can…" Kakashi quickly lost Naruto's attention (I'm too lazy to make up what they're molding chakra for).

"…Oi, are you listening to me, you little brat? What are you, sleep-deprived or something?" Kakashi asked in a slightly pissed off way, although he was smiling to himself behind his mask.

"Sleep-deprived…?" Naruto muttered slightly hysterically and just loudly enough for all of them to here, too sleepy to raise his voice any higher volume then that, "…you don't know the meaning of the word 'sleep-deprived'…"

---

(1) Sakura ain't got nothing in that 'pretty' lil head of hers, sorry Sakura fans, I dislike Billboard-brow with a passion.

(2) 'sa' and 'ki' look relatively familiar…さ(sa) and き(ki)…poor innocent delivery boy probably just trying to read unruly illegible handwriting…

_Ta da! This fanfic is another result of my bored-out-of-my-mind-ness. It's my first Naruto fanfic on too, so…yeah, dunno how to react to that… _

_Inspired by what happened to me this morning (oh god, first it was the birds, then my dad, then my mum, then my sister's DS! ARGH!!!). I have Naruto such horrible metal-blasting neighbours. Poor him, victim to my wacky ideas _

_Anyway, Thanks for reading…unless you didn't read it and just scrolled to the bottom of this page for no apparent reason…weirdo… _

_'Just Review' please! _

_Vonna P. _

_Written: 24th September 2007._


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